Christmas & Grief
Some thoughts on Christmas and grief:
The radio plays: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”
But what if it’s not?
Today on Christmas night I can think of at least one person each who spent the day:
-sick or quarantined because of Covid
-estranged from family
-at CHOP hospital in Philadelphia
-newly widowed or newly without a loved one
-keeping vigil by one who will soon pass
For me, Advent is usually my favorite time of the year, because I love reflecting on the themes of anticipation and hope.
But this Advent kicked off with the death of a beloved family member, and so the holiday season became one of fresh grief.
But I have been thinking– that actually – grief is appropriate for Advent, even Christmas.
For those who celebrate the religious origins of Christmas, the holiday is about the arrival of that “long expected Savior” and the inauguration of a restored reality and a promised Kingdom–one in which there will be no more tears. We declare that one day, all will be made right.
However, we live in what Christian theologians have called “the already and not yet,” or sometimes “the now and not yet.” In other words, we live in the tension of an unfulfilled hope and an unfinished story. Heaven has come, but Earth is still broken. There is so much still not right.
Jesus was 'born that man no more may die,' but we are still going to funerals.
Think about the symbolic placement of Christmas on the calendar (if you live in the Northern hemisphere). For months we’ve been slowly losing daylight. Yet as we round the corner of December 21st, with Christmas morning we declare that the light is coming back. But we still have to live through the winter.
Because of that 'not yet,' sometimes hope feels more like pain; and “anticipation” more like longing, aching, groaning.
Waiting hurts.
And sometimes, "it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah."
There is room for grief in Christmas. Amidst all the lights and carols and feasts, it’s okay if you don’t feel merry and bright. Your tears actually make a lot of sense. Yes, Christmas is here. Joy has come. Now and not yet.
"In the end, darkness is not explained; it is defeated. Night is not justified or solved; it is endured until light overcomes it and it is no more..." -Tish Harrison Warren "Prayer in the Night"
